So Sick

So today, we had an appointment with our FS, where we were hoping to find out whether this pregnancy is an ectopic, or a very weak intrauterine pregnancy which will soon result in a miscarriage. And let me tell you, I’m so sick, so sick of not knowing, as today did not bring us any answers whatsoever.

My HCG levels have risen to 292, but are not high enough to indicate a threatening ectopic pregnancy. Meaning that my FS would not suggest doing a laparoscopy to remove it. It may resolve itself with time,or it may continue to grow causing rupture. Also, a D&C is out if the question, as if it is a intrauterine pregnancy , it would be so tiny, that any scraping of the uterus, may miss that tiny speck of pregnancy tissue.

So for now we just continue to wait. I wish something would finally eventuate, so we can get our life back to normal. My FS will continue to monitor me with weekly HCG tests, as there is still a very small chance it could rupture if it is ectopic, and he will make a call further down the track to operate if needed.

Waiting is seriously taking its toll. I can’t handle much more. I am terrified of it rupturing, as let’s face it, the services and promptness of the hospital in the country town I live are pretty much hopeless. I’d have better chances of dying. So for now, we just wait…. So sick, so sick of waiting…

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