Monthly Archives: April 2014

The Price of Infertility

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Just out of curiosity, I thought I would calculate the cost of all of our fertility treatments so far. I know that it will probably shock me (and maybe you too), considering we only started seeking fertility treatment last August, and it hasn’t even been a whole year yet. And knowing that our infertility treatment is far from over yet. But here goes anyway.

– Anti Mullerian Hormone Assay (AMH) test- $75.00

– Specialist Consultation (FS appointment)- Dr D Molloy-  $98.00

Laparoscopy # 1

– Day Hospital Fees for Laparoscopy & Hysteroscopy (to diagnose endometriosis)- $1123.00

– Specialist Fees for performing Laparoscopy- Dr D Molloy- $962.50

– Anaesthetist Fees for Laparoscopy- $603.00

Laparoscopy # 2

– Pathology Fees for Histopathology of endometriosis- $226.80

– Specialist Fees for performing Laparoscopy- Dr D Molloy- $2, 329.50

– Hospital Fees (Overnight stay)- $6907.70

– Anaesthetist Fees for Laparoscopy- $740.00

Laparoscopy # 3

– Day Hospital Fees for Laparoscopy (to check for any adhesions post laparoscopy #2)- $1020.55

– Specialist Fees for performing Laparoscopy & D&C- Dr D Molloy- $962.50

– Anaesthetist Fees for Laparoscopy- $365.35

IVF/ART Procedures

– Administration Fee (to register with Clinic- QFG)- $205.00

– Specialist Consultation (FS appointment)- Dr D Molloy- $98.00

IVF Fresh Cycle #1

– Fees to QFG for IVF cycle- $7415.00

– Egg Pick Up at Day Hospital- $933.00

– Specialist Fees for Planning and Management of IVF Cycle and performing Egg Pick Up- Dr D Molloy- $747.00

– Anaesthetist Fees for Egg Pick Up- $267.25

IVF Fresh Cycle #2

– Fees to QFG for IVF cycle- $7860.00

– ICSI Fees- $780

– Egg Pick Up at Day Hospital- $933.00

– Transfer of Embryo at Day Hospital- $435.00

– Specialist Fees for Planning and Management of IVF Cycle and performing Egg Pick Up and Transfer of Embryo- Dr D Molloy-$937.00

– Anaesthetist Fees for Egg Pick Up- $267.25

– Pathology Fees- HCG Bloodtest and Progesterone Bloodtest- $170.00

– Ultrasound and Consultation with Specialist- Dr D Molloy- $183.00

– Specialist Consultation (FS appointment)- Dr D Molloy- $98.00

On top of this there is also the natural therapies we have used to try and assist with our fertility, which are ongoing costs every week

– Old Naturopath- $4269.10 +approximately $1 000 spent on new naturopath

– Acupuncture- roughly around $1000 (excluding herbs)

– Chiropractics- roughly around $1000

– Strength, determination, time and commitment and a trip on an emotional rollercoaster- priceless

So far this is a rough guide of costs, as some expenses I cannot find the receipts for but the grand total comes to a whopping total of $44,011.50.

We have received some rebates from our private health ancillary cover, but unfortunately we are still in the waiting period to qualify for hospital cover. Medicare also does provide some rebates for the IVF cycles, but not nearly enough, especially considering we will be needing to go back for another round.

While $44, 011.50 is a huge amount, and we could achieve so many of our dreams with that money (including a deposit on an acreage that we so badly want, or a wedding), we have no hesitation in spending it and parting with it and putting our other dreams aside, if it means achieving our biggest dream of becoming parents. And we will continue spending our hard earnt money on our fertility treatment if that’s what it takes.

What would you do with $44, 011.50?

 

 

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25 Worst Expressions to Say to an Infertile Friend

I’ve lost count of the amount of times these expressions have been said to us in our infertility journey so far. I know people mean well, but damn, those comments hurt. Elisha’s list of “The 25 worst expressions to say to an infertile friend” highly resonate with me. Hopefully this list will bring some awareness to others who have never experienced infertility.

Waiting for Baby Bird

Since coming out of the infertility closet three years ago, everyone including the cashier at the local Wal-Mart scanning my ovulation prediction kit has offered me their words of comfort, stories of hope, or nuggets of advice.  If I had a dollar for every time I was educated on the best vitamins to increase my egg quality or the latest medical science proven to guarantee conception, I could buy that vacation to Hawaii that my friend suggested, because after all, her Uncle’s niece who has a friend from college took one and she came home pregnant with twins.  Why wouldn’t it also work for me? (Insert sarcasm) I know, I know each person is only trying to provide comfort and help fix the problem, but when it comes to infertility, there are a few expressions I wish people would avoid.   Do you want to know what they are?  Are…

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Easter Longing

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Easter… chocolate, family time, beautiful weather, beautiful food.

It’s also another festive holiday which makes me long for the opportunity to be a Mum and a time where I miss my babies. By now, we should be experiencing the joy of laughter and giggles as our little one enjoys unwrapping a Choccy Egg and getting it absolutely everywhere. Our angel wouldn’t be old enough for an Easter Egg hunt, but I still dream of that experience as a Mother.

This Easter and every Easter, I give my beautiful niece and nephew gifts. This year instead of giving them a chocolate high, I prepared for them a gift bag, which included novelty Easter things like a bubble wand, a light up chicken, 1 Easter egg and the Easter Bunny’s carrot (made from play dough and shaped into a carrot). I can’t wait for the day when I can do this for my own children. But for now, I will spoil beautiful Keira and Kaiden.

Miscarriage… 1 year later

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Wow! I can’t believe it has been a complete year since Troy and I experienced the painful miscarriage of our first, precious angel. A whole 365 days. 52 weeks. An eternity without you. A year ago, it did not feel as though we’d ever walk through that deep, dark whirlwind, but we did. Some days it was a case of 4 steps forward, 2 steps back. It was hard, but we eventually did it. And I couldn’t have done it without the love and support of our Angels beautiful father- Troy. He will make the most loving Father someday.

Although my heart still mourns for the loss of our precious little one each and every day, it is somewhat stronger. And the broken pieces have healed bit by bit as we continue the journey of becoming parents someday. We have to be strong. We have come so close to becoming parents, but yet it still feels so far away as we continue to ride the infertility roller coaster.

Our miscarriage has changed our lives forever. We appreciate the smaller things in life and see the world through a different set of eyes. As awful as it was to experience the miscarriage and I would never wish such an ordeal on anyone else ever, I am grateful for the person it has allowed me to become. I also feel sad that it has changed some things in my life and I’ve changed so much, but there is no way I want to be the naive, materialistic person I was. For I have learnt how easily precious things can be taken from you, and that material possessions don’t matter when all you want are your dreams.

I miss you especially on this day little Angel. Today I feel that sense of emptiness again. Like you’ve been taken from me all over again. I wish you never had to leave us, I wish my body could’ve nurtured you and we could see your beautiful smiles and the sound of your giggles, but I know you watch me everyday, and you are always safe in my heart and memory. You take care of your little brother or sister too up there in heaven. Mummy and Daddy love you immensely and always will. Xxoo

I miss my babies

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Everyday I miss my two angel babies. And I wish they were here with us on earth.

This week, I also miss my three fur babies too. We are away enjoying some magical “us” time at the beach. It’s been great to enjoy some quiet time, reading a book, soaking up some sun, enjoying some simple pleasures like wine and yummy food and not having a care in the world or thinking about fertility or IVF. But there are three things missing. I miss neck snuggles and purrs with my new baby kitten Jezabelle , I miss smooches at the breakfast table from our incredibly smoochy dog Jemma, and I miss that look our older cat Trixie gives me from the back door when she wants to be fed. Another 3 sleeps until I see my 3 babies!

A Ray of Sunshine and Hope at Currimundi

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The Beach…. Possibly my most favourite place to relax and unwind. No sorry… I lie. It IS my most favourite place to relax and unwind! There is nothing like the sound of the waves crashing, and the glorious warmth of the sunshine soaking your body with happiness and warmth. We have been enjoying some time at the beach since Monday and will spend the rest of the week here. Muchly needed after another hectic term at work. We decided a beach getaway was needed after our second miscarriage and second unsuccessful IVF cycle. Time to unwind, time to refocus, time together.

Today the sun was certainly shining on us and brought us some hope! Our follow up appointment today with our FS brought some positive news! After transferring our last embryo in our second fresh IVF cycle, we had been told from the scientists that none of the other five embryos were healthy enough to freeze and thus would be allowed to succumb. So here we were sitting at our FS’s desk discussing what went wrong with the last cycle, and he hits us up. “So where are you in your cycle at the moment? Would you like to do a frozen cycle?” Dumbfounded, I felt like jumping across the desk and punching him in the face. Like come on…  read our chart properly. What are you talking about? We have none frozen! Little to our knowledge, we did! His paperwork from the scientists state that we currently have one little embryo on ice! What a miracle in itself! How on earth does this happen? So we were faced with the question whether we’d like to do a frozen cycle this cycle given that my periods also started today!

As much as I wanted to ecstatically say YES, unfortunately, we have decided to wait a little longer. A visit to my acupuncturist today has revealed that as a result of the lethal mix of the miscarriage and IVF drugs, by hormones and cycle is very disturbed at the moment. I need to focus on warming my blood in order for my body to be able to hold a successful pregnancy. My acupuncturist was worried that if I was to do a FET soon, it would all be a waste. So we have decided to take her advice on board and wait a few more months before we do the FET. What’s another few months in the scheme of things anyway? We were anticipating and had already planned to wait until September to do a brand new fresh cycle, so waiting until June to do a FET will be easy! I can do that! So I will pump my body full of Chinese herbs in the hope of rectifying my problems before the FET in June. Bring it on! I am so grateful for this additional opportunity. I feel like this is a little sign. Our embryo is a miracle in itself, lets hope it brings a miracle pregnancy!

Another high on the rollercoaster ride of infertility! I much prefer it up here than being down low though!

My crazy, useless body

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So once again, I am back to thinking that my body is just crazy and useless. I know I should appreciate it more, after all, the job of creating a pregnancy is hard work, but how can I when all it does is fail me?

I am waiting for my first period post miscarriage, and my body just isn’t playing the game. In fact I don’t even think I’ve ovulated this month. So who knows when I’ll get my period. Stupid body. It never does what it’s meant to. My basal body temperatures have been very low. My hormones have to be out of whack. I usually have a 30 day cycle, and am currently up to CD 35. I have some very very light discoloured discharge, but not enough to warrant even wearing a liner. I’ve had light cramping that comes and goes. Some days it’s there, some days it’s not. I’ve been feeling hormonal and irritable. Most days I get frustrated at the smallest of things. The herbs I am taking obviously haven’t helped to regulate my cycles yet. Why do I bother doing all the right things like taking herbs? My body doesn’t appreciate it. I just want to know what is going on! The uncertainty continues. We are having a break from TTC to avoid the uncertainty, and here it is still haunting me. I just want AF to come to restore some normality.

We have an appointment with my FS tomorrow to discuss what went wrong with our last IVF, and discuss a future plan. I of course will be quizzing him about my periods and why they haven’t shown yet. I’m terrified something is wrong.

Questions I will be asking:
– What caused our embryo to terminate?
– Why did we need to use ICSI and how can we improve Troy’s sperm?
– How can we improve our embryo quality to get some to freeze next time instead?
– What approach will you use next time? (Which drugs etc)
– Why haven’t I got a period yet? (Is this a concern?)

While I’m looking forward to getting some answers and closure on our last cycle, I also feel anxious about the next steps. Will it be more involved next time since our last 2 cycles have failed ? Will he suggest donor eggs or sperm? While we aren’t going to do our next IVF cycle until September, I can’t help but think we shouldn’t be letting time slip away. I’m terrified the endometriosis will grow back in that time- after all it will be exactly a year since I had it removed when we do the next cycle. And I have been proven so many times my body isn’t normal. So much to think about…