Wow! I can’t believe it has been a complete year since Troy and I experienced the painful miscarriage of our first, precious angel. A whole 365 days. 52 weeks. An eternity without you. A year ago, it did not feel as though we’d ever walk through that deep, dark whirlwind, but we did. Some days it was a case of 4 steps forward, 2 steps back. It was hard, but we eventually did it. And I couldn’t have done it without the love and support of our Angels beautiful father- Troy. He will make the most loving Father someday.
Although my heart still mourns for the loss of our precious little one each and every day, it is somewhat stronger. And the broken pieces have healed bit by bit as we continue the journey of becoming parents someday. We have to be strong. We have come so close to becoming parents, but yet it still feels so far away as we continue to ride the infertility roller coaster.
Our miscarriage has changed our lives forever. We appreciate the smaller things in life and see the world through a different set of eyes. As awful as it was to experience the miscarriage and I would never wish such an ordeal on anyone else ever, I am grateful for the person it has allowed me to become. I also feel sad that it has changed some things in my life and I’ve changed so much, but there is no way I want to be the naive, materialistic person I was. For I have learnt how easily precious things can be taken from you, and that material possessions don’t matter when all you want are your dreams.
I miss you especially on this day little Angel. Today I feel that sense of emptiness again. Like you’ve been taken from me all over again. I wish you never had to leave us, I wish my body could’ve nurtured you and we could see your beautiful smiles and the sound of your giggles, but I know you watch me everyday, and you are always safe in my heart and memory. You take care of your little brother or sister too up there in heaven. Mummy and Daddy love you immensely and always will. Xxoo