Yesterday we were at the top of the roller coaster, on a big high, anticipating today’s egg pick up, for our third global cycle.
Today, the day of egg pick up, we are at the bottom of the roller coaster, in the biggest dip, plagued with mixed emotions. We got 7 eggs, which is fantastic, especially in comparison to our first ever cycle where we landed a dismal 1. That’s 7 more chances than our first ever attempt. But it’s also 3 less chances than our second attempt where we got 10 eggs. So why, you may ask are we in the dip of the roller coaster ride when we got a decent egg number? Because we face the anxious wait…. To hear if they fertilise. It all depends on that news. We can either continue on to transfer stage and maybe get pregnant, or this cycle may be cancelled too if fertilisation isn’t successful or the embryos don’t continue to grow, a feeling we know all too well, ripping our hopes, dreams and opportunities away once again, until we can fund another cycle in who knows how long. Thus withholding our chances of becoming pregnant for even longer. This time we are also faced with the challenge of waiting to a day 5 transfer. Something we haven’t yet achieved. Our embryos only made it to day 3 last time, and we transferred and froze one of each at day 3.
The feeling of anxiousness and helplessness is unexplainable. I just wish there was something we could do to further assist our embryos and better our chances. But we have done all we can now. Fingers crossed the dietary commitments and changes and vile herbs and supplement regime we have undertaken for the last 8 months will help us considerably. So let’s hope our fate is positive, please god watch over our embryos and bring us at least 1 to transfer. That’s all I ask. I hate this roller coaster ride with a capital H.