Monthly Archives: December 2014

Maybe Miracles Do Exist!

Maybe miracles do exist!! And god has listened to our prayers. And my angel babies and Grandma are watching over me.

I got my bloods taken yesterday at my GP to check on levels since the clinic won’t redo them until Monday.

HCG was 1670 at 18dp2dt and progesterone was 958!! According to this beaut calculator, my levels have doubled spot on, can’t believe it! Troy has been calling me a “Yummy Mummy”, but I still can’t help but feel like we can’t get excited just yet, until the third blood test on Monday. Keep growing little one. You’ve proven already just how strong you are.

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532

Saturday’s HCG levels were 532. Well and truly pregnant. My clinic likes them at or above 100 at 14dp2dt. I won’t have another BT until 1 week time. Apparently standard practice at my clinic. But I am going to go to my GP tomorrow to get a BT and hopefully they may just rise.

I just have this feeling my levels won’t rise, as my pregnancy symptoms have disappeared and my POAS’s haven’t changed. Part of me wants to be excited, we’ve never had such high levels! Am I protecting myself too much? Is it just all in my head? The next week waiting isn’t going to be easy. I will pray that a miracle happens in the meantime.

A Birthday Wish- Part 2

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Another year has passed, and it is my lovely fiancé Troy’s 31st birthday.

A few days ago, I thought I would have the best birthday present in the world to give my fiancé, a pregnancy that would finally make him a Dad. But instead, I have nothing to give him. Broken dreams, a harsh reality.

But it seems it will all be taken from us, and Troy’s birthday will be spent dreaming about the “what ifs”.

My pregnancy tests haven’t gotten darker, my pregnancy symptoms are easing, so the reality is, our second IVF pregnancy will most likely end as another miscarriage too.

I am going to try my hardest to hold it together today and make Troy’s birthday enjoyable for him, when all I want to do is curl up in bed and cry once more.

Please know I love you my darling, and I wish I could have given you more this birthday. It’s really bad timing this has eventuated at the time it has. I just wish I could give you more….

Loosing Hope

This mornings POAS test line was lighter than previous days. I really want this to be the one. So damn worried. Wish I could have my BT today like I was meant to (but no, it’s Boxing Day). I feel my morning sickness symptoms I had started to feel, are not as bad this morning. I woke with sharp stabbing pains in my belly button at 4am this morning, which subsided after 10 minutes or so. I just assumed they were OHSS associated pains. Such a stressful wait. I want the wait to be over, and to have glorious news that we are pregnant with healthy, increasing Beta numbers.

The Best Christmas Present in the World

Christmas 2014. Possibly the best ever!!! 13dp2dt.

Did another POAS this morning. Seems the line has now darkened and the test line is darker than the control line. This brings a HUGE relief for good numbers at the blood test on Saturday!! While I am still being reserved and not allowing myself too much of a chance to get excited (as I know how quickly things can change in early pregnancy), this is a darn good start! I just wish we could be like other couples and be happy at this news and not have to worry about the what ifs. Please continue to grow little one. My little miracle.

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Lighter

This mornings POAS is a little lighter. At 12dp2dt, I just hope it means it’s any leftover pregnyl now gone. I really hope it gets darker in the next few days. Driving me crazy already. I have to wait until Saturday until BT, and won’t get results until Monday due to the public holidays. The clinic won’t let me do a BT earlier. Such a long wait….

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OMG

Decided to POAS this morning. I am 11dp2dt. And got this result.

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It’s been a week since my last pregnyl injection. I don’t know whether to believe whether this is showing real HCG or leftover HCG from the Pregnyl. My clinic believes it could still be the Pregnyl, but what other explanation is there to have such late onset of OHSS symptoms? On previous occasions I have tested out the Pregnyl by doing a HPT each day, and by the 1 week mark, the HPT returns to nothingness. Negative. Nada. Zilch. Please let this be real. Please give us our Christmas miracle. I will retest tomorrow morning and hopefully it will get darker, which will mean it is indeed real HCG.