Tag Archives: pregnancy

I wanted to share this…

So very true to the emotions I’ve been feeling lately…..

This article deals with pregnancy but also the toll that IVF and IF takes on you, even once you are pregnant. http://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/parenting/2015/03/17/after-i-v-f-pregnant-but-still-stuck-in-the-past/?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&bicmp=AD&bicmlukp=WT.mc_id&bicmst=1409232722000&bicmet=1419773522000&_r=0&referrer



A Bad Day


Today has been a bad day. Shocking. Awful. Terrible. Yes, I’m still 9w 4d pregnant. Yes, my scan on Friday just gone showed everything is still fine with this pregnancy. Yes, I’m carrying 2 beautiful babies still. Yes, my spotting has eased greatly. But I just can’t wipe the FEAR from my mind. I keep thinking that something will go wrong. I haven’t felt as many symptoms the last few days. I’m sick in my stomach and just feel like crying. I can’t function or manage to do anything else but wonder “what if”. I’ve pretty much moped all day thinking about the worst, brainwashing myself and preparing myself for the worst. I hate how the innocence of being a pregnant woman is something I will never feel. I want to enjoy this pregnancy, but I keep thinking of the worst. I wish I’d never experienced a miscarriage, then I wouldn’t be faced with these negative thoughts. I am so scared. I wish I could see and feel my babies everyday to know they are indeed okay. I hope things don’t turn bad. For now, I have to wait until this Friday for my next obstetrician appointment to know if things are okay. It really is just one day at a time.